We talked a few days ago about how I’m off the social medias. I’m so glad I deleted my account. I’m not trying to say that facebook is a direct and sole source for mood problems, but for people like me who are already having a hard time controlling emotions/anxiety IRL this kind of thing DOES NOT HELP US. Not cool, facebook. Not cool.
Now that I have tons of free time due to facebook deletion, twitter deletion, school is out, I’ve quit every board I’m on, and no work I am BORED, BORED, BORED. So I’ve taken up cooking and cleaning. Approximately 20 years ago Martha Stewart came on the scene and I was a “stay at home” mom for a brief period. I was young, poor, and in an apartment. Watching Martha iron perfectly, make the perfect million ingredient meals, and have the perfect house: Martha gave me a complex. I hated her. I stopped watching her. Eventually she showed that she was human like the rest of us and pent some time in jail.
Twenty years later I’m cleaning and cooking like Martha inhabits my body.
I’m older, poor again, and in a rental house. But I’ve collected furniture I enjoy, nice enough linens, nice kitchen gadgets, and I have learned to cook. Doing some minor gardening. And I clean like a maniac.
I don’t think the house was ever this clean while I was a housewife (but I was super-depressed then, so that’s to be expected). It’s 10:30 Pacific and I’ve already swept, taken out the compost, changed the sheets, cooked tortillas, drank two cups of coffee, taken out the recycling, made hummus, cleaned the kitchen, hand-washed half of the dirty dishes, mentally planned meals for the next 24 hours and I’m thinking about vacuuming. Again. And making home-made ketchup. Or dusting. Or moving the compost bins/turning them.
What is going on here?
I probably should be doing the schoolwork I didn’t do last quarter. I took an incomplete in two courses. Thank you Women’s & Gender Studies. My mental crisis probably wouldn’t fly in what would be considered “traditional” studies. I just don’t have the righteous anger after my little meltdown last week. Hopefully it will come back soon.
I wonder what Martha would think of this. I wonder if she’s a feminist. You can be a feminist and cook/clean/be a domestic goddess at the same time, you know.
I’m gonna go vacuum.